Twice in one day. Sometimes it’s the right thing to do.

I couldn’t help grabbing hold of my dictaphone and sliding in another cassette. When I left the Bingo Hall in 1994 I stole it (a cassette full of oldies, originally entitled ‘Nostalgia’). I have no remorse, they shut the place down a few months later.

It was there that I first appreciated the joys of swearing. I told my line manager to ‘fuck off’ and he heard me, I admit it gave me a thrill.

Anyhow, I thought the tape was a bit stretched cos everything seemed a bit off, a bit sluggish. As previously mentioned, I have been nursing the player to make sure that the spools are operating to the max. I had a bit of a boogie and dropped the player.

As I bent to pick it up, I noticed the speed adjuster on the back…

“Be wise, be smart, behave, my heart
Don’t upset your cart when she’s so close
Be soft, be sweet but be discreet
Don’t go off your beat…”

Too late she’s twiddling the knob now… Sammy Davis Jr. say hello to The Chipmunks.

I’m not sorry.

Advertisements