Well, aside from the bits that are not, obviously. I’ve been aware of how much I am able to put in now my health is nearly back to normal. I’ve done some washing for a friend, some cleaning for my nan, edited a job application and presentation for another friend and supported yet another friend through a difficult emotional incident.

It feels so good to be able to ‘do’. Having had to accept the help of so many people emotionally and physically over the last year, I realised how much I was trying to do on my own, before I became ill. Allowing people to nurture me, has allowed me the mental space to be able to nurture myself. What a difference it makes.

If you do one thing for yourself, make sure you choose the right friends. Letting go of control is effortless when they are good people you can rely on. I have felt reborn. This is not a happy clappy thing, it was painful, and almost took me out. Letting go of my fierce independence was a wrench. Accepting that I have value even when I am not ‘good Tickertapemind’ was almost inconceivable before I was ill.

So I am grateful to all my friends who broke down my barriers by being loving and nurturing, even when I was not at my best. Even when I was incapable of giving and frequently moody and tearful they held me in their constant care. They have not asked anything from me in return and if they have needed help from me they have graciously accepted. This is living, is it not?

So, on a day where I am counting my blessings, I would also like to say thank you to you. Yes, you, my internet chums! I have brought you with me on one of my most wild adventures so far and you are still here. Reading, observing and bearing witness.

I would like you to know, that I read your blogs when I am able, I don’t always have time to respond, I often forget to like and as for following back… well… You are getting too numerous for me to click on your avatars when you like my posts, so I shall have to do something about that :D

I wish you all well, where ever you are and how ever you feel.
My thoughts are with you,