“If at first you don’t succeed; let go, let go, let go.” (Unknown to me)

I have not been letting go. My mobile phone warned me it was about to give up the ghost and I did not take the appropriate steps to move all my contacts and photographs to a new phone, graciously given to me, by MU. Instead I tried to make the charger work one last time, using the power of my will. It, surprisingly, said yes! So I got cocky wore the battery down and tried again. Fool.

I have let my ego run rampant recently, in new and unexpected ways. Strange ways that I won’t go into. The Buddha was a big fan of letting go. He let go of a whole kingdom and his family. Then he let go of himself.

I am not letting go.

One of my best friends recently lost his mother, she had a very bad fall in the snow. It was unexpected to say the least. What comfort can I give him. Let go? Om Mane Padme Hum on a Wednesday for the next six weeks? You’ll be fine! He wants me to think of loved ones that I’ve lost on Friday at two.

I’ve been invited to talk at a One Billion Rising march. I’ve made a speech but racked with doubt I can not decide whether to back out or not. I’ve been getting involved in fights that are not mine. My energies are fractured. I need to refocus.

What I really want to do, is pack up and drive off. Maybe on my own, maybe with a group of friends. Have lots of music to sing to and books to read. Be able to sit on the metaphorical hill and write my book. I have been writing my book. The story is coming along well. I am cold and my back is hurting and I can not drive. Damn it!

Hugs. What I want is hugs. But not from anyone I can get them from. I want to lie down in a warm bed, with a small bottom pressed into my chest, tiny lips tutting all the while, because I am not being a pillow right.

I had put orange peel in the bowls on the radiators and I forgot and could not work out what the smell was. I have been reading your blogs.

I won’t go on any longer… Have a poem instead…

Love is as breeze is,
through my mind it blows.

Watching dusky sun on hill,
whilst wiggling my toes.

Summer highs in Winter depths,
keep away the lows.

Imagine blooms and birds in flight,
by the ember glows.

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