Really, I ought to be going to bed. But since when have I ever done what I ought to be doing?

Today, my thoughts became backed up at work. Parts of an old life and a new life collided and left me confused. This time, in a positive manner. In fact there were three of some of my most favourite people in one room at one point.

I’ve been thinking about the theatre. I’ve been invited to go back in. I declined. I hadn’t realised, that I have been saying no for some time now. It has become so effortless to simply say, “No, thank you”, that I haven’t even realised that I have been doing it.

I would like to concentrate on, “Yes, please”, next. Things worth saying yes to, obviously.

I stopped referring to myself as Buddhist and it’s working. People have stopped assuming that I am some kind of Vulcan. I like it. I feel liberated. I’m shaking off the teaching part of it. I’m not inclined to “spin the wheel” explicitly anymore.

My projects are looking wonderful.

More on those later, when I have more of a mind to process it. I’ve been writing again. In fact, I’ve been frustrated that work is taking up so much of my time and energy. How ironic. I have decided that what I really want to do, is become a counsellor so that I can write.

This might have been very obvious and apparent. This might have been a realisation that I have had, several times before, but this time… This time, I am aware of the how it feels. How I am going to manifest this, with no money to pay for the course I have no idea. But we know if it’s meant to be, it’s as easy as breathing.

It’s the first time in a long time that I have felt like I have a goal again. I feel less disjointed.

Been listening to Dianna Ross, Maxi Priest, Sade and Dionne Warwick… Talking about relationships with the dark side, and looking at the light, with a sense of contentment.

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