…for example writing a blog, when I should be getting ready to go out. In my defense it’s not my fault, it’s my friends. She’s stuck on a train. I don’t go out often and even rarer still do I get to go to an event of my choosing in my local area. It’s not really known for salsa and soul.

Anyhow, the other thing that I should not be doing is devoting time, energy and wow on a man who is probably unreliable, stubborn, possibly a bit more cuckoo than I can handle and likely to play me like a set of drums. There is another man I like, who would probably play me like a cello.

Let’s be clear, there is nothing wrong with me. I don’t feel like I need to be abused (I think he’s likely to be negligent, not abusive). I do deserve to be loved. I am smart, feeling good and definitely on the up… So this attraction I have, the electricity that I feel, is not something I’d like to wish on myself.

I’m really not a risk taker or an adrenalin junkie… and yet.

It’s quite exhausting actually, it’s like a form of madness. Am I done? Nope… So, here’s hoping that a night on the tiles with my girls will cure me of the burning furnace in my… everything.

Just in case it needed to be said, tonight I will be Baddhist…