tired but I can’t sleep, cold damp house too many blankets too warm…idiot neighbour noisey but not radius, still waiting for the big noise to start… Still have the cat, still allergic, the cat is now minus one tooth, she fractured a fang! How I do not know…. Typing on the tablet I hate it. Working in a call centre to fund the music gig rather not but paid off some debts. Postponed the art thing, took on a new volunteer role… Dad had a chest infection which was pneumonia and pulmonary embolism, fuck the government and the NHS ‘sell off’. Back on the dating website, why I’m not sure, was asked for my number at a gig last year and said no!!!! Huh!?  Did I tell you about the artist? What a waste of time that was… Seen some cool things, been to som cool places and all I can think of is god I have to move. I’m so tired, haven’t slept normal hours for probably years but recently it’s been 4am till noon. Dammit. Did another puja was hoping for a new revolution, it didn’t come. AND THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY EAR!!!!!! happy poo year xxx

PS I forgot something cool! Final episode of misfits season four wow! Existential abbey… Anyway, the wall they are scrubbing during that episode contains music in visual form! And she references Peaches, fuck the pain away! Totally awesome. I might not have told you all about my existential forays this year, to be honest I don’t know where I’m at… Post wise. But life wise, fucking the pain away is a temporary fix, you knows this don’t you. And yet you still refuse to seek a deeper connection, this is capitalism for you, it kills love. Love bravely, even if I can’t.